If vampires did pee
by Aurag2
Summary: What would happen if Bella smelt strong vampire pee, Marking werewolves, Edward walks in on rosalie. All four books. PLEASE REVIEW AND SUBMIT OTHER IDEAS. CHAPTER 88eight88 UP
1. Chapter 1

Edward's POV

So… I am watching my love Bella Swan tonight. Maybe I should tell her I am. It would be the right thing; I think I will have one more night though.

I have been watching her for three weeks now, and I can still remember that first night perfectly.

I was watching her sleep, when she muttered "Edward". I could wear she was awake, but she just turned and sighed my name once more. I also remembered what happened after that.  
My vampire bladder had kicked in. See, vampires we do "pee", but it is different.

We only have to go a day after we hunt, to get rid of the animals chemicals in there bloodstream. And I had been hunting a lot lately to handle Bella's scent. I looked around, I could not use there bathroom, and it was too late to go home.

By now I was practically shaking, we could not hold it very well, it would all come at once, so when vampires had to go we had to go.

I looked out the window, it was still dark, and no one would be up for a few hours. I bit my lip, I had to think, there was no time though, and if I did not hurry, I would have wet myself in her room.

So, quickly and quietly crawled out of her window. I looked around; there was a stray cat, but no people. I took a deep breath_. I cannot believe I am doing this _I thought to myself. I quickly unzipped my pants and _Aaaah._You could not believe how good it felt It was behind the bushes, so maybe she wouldn't figure it out. I zipped up my pants, and just then, it kicked in.  
I had had to go so bad I had forgotten how strong vampire pee was. I could smell it already, I was used to it. What would Bella and Charlie think? I attempted to kick dirt on it, and it stayed the same.

Usually if a vampire had to pee, we would go in the woods. Then if a person smelt it, they would blame animals.  
I climbed up Back to the window to find Bella stirring.  
Oh well, I had watched her enough.  
I ran home hoping she would not smell it.

Chapter 2 coming soon.  
-The mourning, Bella's point of veiw


	2. The next mourning

_**Thanks for all the positive reviews on my first story, "Twas the night before Twilight". If you have not read it yet, check it out plz.**_

**Bella's POV**

I woke up with a migraine, two hours earlier then usual. It was still dark out and I really had to pee. I jumped out of bed and went to the washroom. There was an odd smell this mourning, almost like urine. Ooh, note to self, drink more water.

After taking medication for my headache, I went into the hall. It was even stronger here. It could not be me then, the smell was even stronger here. I went around shutting all the windows, and the smell was unbearable at each one.

I went back to bed, attempting to sleep. My headache wore off at 4:30 but the smell, oh that smell was horrible. It was like the strongest thing I would ever smelt. I could swear now it was urine, pee. Some animal probably peed outside, but this strong, eww.

I just layed there half unconsis for an hour and then I heard Charlie get up.

I got up too; the smell was kinda gone, kinda still there.

I went to the kitchen while he was showering and made eggs. It was all Charlie could make for himself, but he still enjoyed it. Half way through is eggs, he lifted his head.  
"Do you smell that?"

I did but I was not sure what to say, oh well.  
"Yeah, it was stronger this mourning, kind of like urine"  
He frowned and his nose wrinkled then he relaxed.  
"Yeah, I agree, you need to drink more water Bella"

I rolled my eyes, and washed my plate, then went upstairs to shower. Good thing the smell was gone upstairs; I could not stand it much longer.

After my shower, I did my usual routine. Got dressed, brushed my hair and packed my backpack.

I was grabbing my key, when I decided to turn the air on reverse before I left, So the smell would get out before I came back.

I left and locked the door and stopped in my tracks. I could smell it; the smell was horrible right where my favorite bush is, some animal must have peed on it.  
I kicked the dirt hoping to cover it, but I had just exposed it. It was weird, this dirt was very light even when wet. However, there were red thick clumps. I could see it easily, blood red, gooey and gross. Whatever had peed here must have been really sick.  
My phone buzzed and I realized I was late, I jumped into my truck and drove off.

_Ok, that is it. I will do one more today. Edward's POV. PLEASE REVIEW_

_And thank you to LemonDropDreams, Twilight fan at heart, my biggest fan and friend_


	3. Edward's embarrasing moment

A few days after Bella knows that Edward visits her at night

**Edward's POV**

I was getting more used to her scent, so I would only hunt every four days, which meant id have to pee every three. And for some odd reason, when I am at Bella's at night, I always have to go.

So every three nights, I would pee in the same bush. She did not suspect much, she kinda got used to it. And I swear she might start to like the scent.

When she wakes up to it, it is weird, it is urine, but she is happier when that smells here.

So, I told Bella I watch her sleep two days ago, and she took it well. I come to visit her at night. We did for two nights, and I hunted three nights ago.

So after the third night, as usual, I would hum her lullaby to help her sleep and when she was asleep and it was, dark I'd sneak out.

It took her longer tonight, and she saw me biting my lip and shaking before she fell asleep. By the time I was down, I could not wait.

I felt it all rush out at once. That was it, I even grossed myself out.

It was not the first time, id done it a few times in school, not forks high school though.

I undid my pants and they were ruined. Vampire pee hardens into a rubbery substance, even blood red.

I peed what I had left and ran home.  
Emmett automatically saw my pants and started laughing. He knew it was hard, but still a person who is at least a century old sounds weird when he wets himself.

I stomped upstairs at super human speed and took a quick shower, got dressed and sat gathering myself again.  
As usual Carlisle came to give me the potty talk.  
"I heard what happened" He came and sat on my bed.  
I know he worries about me but whenever when of the boys wets himself, he does this. Same with Esme and the girls. I feel bad for the first few years when he did it for Esme.

I decided to respond "look, I'm fine, I really don't need this*  
He starred then continued, "I know you don't like the talk, but it's my duty as your fath-Carlisle, group leader to give one."  
"Fine, just go"

"Well as a doctor, I believe when people have potty problems it's because of stress, have you been stressed lately Edward?"  
Ok, this was too weird. "No, I was just busy"  
"too busy to use the washroom?"  
"Yes, I was with a Bella" I looked away

"Oh, does she know you…did that?" He looked at my area, this is so weird.

"No, I was about to go when she fell asleep"  
"You go near her house?" He looked surprised.  
" I have been for a few weeks now, this week she knew I was there, and I didn't have enough time."  
"You know Edward; we can get you the vampire diapers, like in your first ten years."  
Oh no, he just did not bring that up. We had all, except him, used them and hated them.

"Carlisle, no, please no, ill be more careful" He just starred thinking.  
"It is nothing to be ashamed of Edward, it's natural. You couldn't help it, it was an accident" He was treating me like a potty-trained two years old.

"Ok, thanks, I'm fine, may I go now?"  
He looked out the window and back. "Ok, the suns coming up though, use your Volvo please"

I got up and walked towards my favourite car, the Shiny Volvo. I had named it Stephenie, but Bella did not know that.

I got in her and drove off. Charlie had already left so I went in and met up with Bella at the kitchen table. She was eating some thing in a bowl; she had described it as cereal before.

Eww, I hated human food.

"Hey Edward" Her face cheered up even more, probably because of the scent.  
" Hey" I responded, she was so cute and delicious, ok, rephrase that.

"So, you left last night?" Crap, at least she did not notice the smell that filled the house once again.  
"Yeah, I had to go…see Carlisle."  
"Oh, is everything ok?"  
" Yeah, everything's great" I smiled her favourite crooked little smile.  
Good, she got distracted; I was hoping she would change the subject. "So, do you smell that"  
Oh no, she knew, it cannot be good.

"What?"

"That urine smell, it's been here for two weeks, and the bush in the front lawn"  
I attempted to change it again. "So, you don't mind I've been spying on you for two weeks?"

She stooped eating and just starred, like when Alice has a vision.

"Two weeks?"  
I was not sure what to say "um…yes, why?"

"Have you been the one peeing in my bush?"  
If I were not a vampire, I would be blushing right now. I did not know what to say. So I just told her.  
"Ok, I had been peeing in your bush because I could not hold it at night, vampire pee is the strong scent you smell, and I peed my self last night, that is why I left. Happy?"  
She just starred what I would pay to hear inside her head right now. "What are you thinking?"  
She snapped out of it and started to laugh.  
"You peed yourself, your not even seventeen Edward, your more then a hundred years old, and you peed yourself." She couldn't stop laughing, it was really annoying.  
"Ok, ha-ha, I know, it's funny, but it's common."  
"And the smell?"  
"We usually pee in the forest; it's harder for the girls."

"Wow, Edward, I'm sorry but it's funny."  
She sat up and was now only snickering.

"You think that's funny, you should have seen the time I walked in on Rosalie"  
Bella just starred not sure if she wanted to know.

More to come, chapter four, the Rosalie sitch. In Edward's POV.


	4. Renesmee's Markings

_**Sorry people, I have decided not to do the Rosalie story, it may be released in later chapters though.**_

This does include Renesmee, so it is a BD spoiler if not readBella's POV

So, you all know Renesmee. Cute, adorable, half vampire, half-human.

This was about her two-week mark. She already had a two year olds body. In addition, mind. Moreover, it was time for the worst part yet. As Edward called it…The potty time.

She peed on a regular human basis, but it came suddenly like vampires. It smelled fine to humans, but strong to vampires.

We taught her to use the potty, and she learned fast. We were happy with her and us for managing it.

One moment, after Edward and I had our "Fun" we got up and got dressed.

That is when it hit us, we smelt her pee.

We had taught her to flush it or go in the woods, so why could I smell it?

I went into her room and she had not peed the bed, but there was pee on her…everything. Oh no, Esme would have a fit.

It was on the carpet, chair, little couch, and even her big teddy bear.

She was already in the kitchen so I came down, motioning Edward to wait.  
"What?"  
"I have to talk to Renesmee, alone."

He stood there trying to figure out what I meant. Then he must have read her mind, because his whole expression changed and he backed up a little.

"I'll see if I can get it out"

"Thanks" I kissed his cheek and sat next to Renesmee.  
She looked quite proud. "Honey, what did you do to your room"  
She looked at me as if I was stupid. "It's mine; I can do what I want"  
"No, it's mommies and daddies, and that doesn't explain why you peed all over it"

"I said it was mine. Jacob pees on his stuff when he's a wolfie."

Oh, Jacob had taught her this.

I could already hear Edward slam himself through her window(while braking it) and run away.  
**  
Edward's POV**

How could he. My daughter, my little daughter, teaching her to pee over everything. Maybe I was taking this too far, but for him to teach her to soil her room. ARRGH.

I was finally at the cave he called home. I could smell his wolf pee. Then a large, growling wolf came out of the bushes and stopped when it saw me.

_Oh, hey Edward, what can I do you for?_

"Do you know what she was doing last night?" Ok, I should have been quieter.

_Calm down, she wasn't with me._

"I KNOW, SHE WAS BUSY SOILING HER ROOM"

_Then what can I do this visit for?_

"she said she learned it from you"

_oh._ He froze, thinking of what to say.

_So Renesmee marks._

"Yeah, wait, what?"

_I didn't teach her it though, she must have saw me do it, I'm so sorry Edward. I'll tell her not to._

"Wait, Mark?"

_Oh, Animal thing. You know, marking our territory. I do it for fun and out of instinct sometimes. We mark what is ours._

"That's why this place smells like pee?"

_Umm, I guess so, so, can you go now, I'm tired*cute wolfy yawn*_

"Sure" I turned around and walked to our cabin at human pace.

_**Coming Soon… Edward and Jacob talk to Renesmee**_


	5. The Talk

If Vampires Did PeeEdward's POV

I stood outside into the room, with Jacob and Bella both at my side. We were about to go tell Renesmee she should not mark. My girl was so small and innocent. I couldn't believe she was doing that.

I read her mind before I entered._ That's mine._ That's been her thoughts all week. I opened the door and saw her half naked, squatting over her bed…peeing. Not again, when she realized I was there she stopped. _Hi daddy _were her thoughts.

After pushing Jacob out and getting her dressed we started to talk. "Honey, you're not supposed to pee on stuff" She stuck her hand to Bella's cheek knowing I'd see it too. It was Jacob as his wolf, lifting his leg, peeing on a tree. I sighed. "We know he does it, and that's why he's here."

He came in, still thinking about her naked. I growled and he stopped. "Renesmee, see, I'm not supposed to mark either, and I know that now. If I stop, will you stop?" she stuck her hand again, and Bella put her shield on. Bella laughed uncontrollably. "No, you can't do that either." I starred at Bella and she thought _I'll tell you later._

She stood up and smiled. Bella left returning with the nature's miracle (a pee cleaner). She scrubbed that carpet and finally got it out.

"I promise I won't anymore." She smiled once more.

**I know this one is extremely short, but ive been having a HUGE brain fart cuz of this chapter. More to come**


	6. The Spot

**Hey Reading Peoples, I Wrote This Chapter On My Brand New Laptop I Got For Christmas, Just Wanted To Mention That. Alright, Read Ahead.**

Chapter 6, The Bella's POV

We were tidying up because a new vampire was visiting town and they were going to stay with us. Okay…fine. Esme was cleaning, Carlisle was in his study, Emmett;Jasper; and Edward were playing Guitar Hero on the playstation, Alice was playing Bella Barbie on Rosalie, and I was watching it all happen.

I was trying to figure out what to do. I had already done all my homework and it wasn't worth re-reading books while you're a vampire because you remember it all anyway. I definitely didn't want to go play Bella Barbie, no matter how much Alice had begged and dry sobbed earlier. I hadn't cleaned much since I moved from Charlie's; Esme did most of that. Edward was already wrestling Jasper for the second Guitar for Guitar Hero. Why can't they just buy Rockband and share it.

Just then Alice flew down the stairs. "They're Here", Usually she would have screamed it, but it wasn't necessary because I was a vampire now. Carlisle came out of his study and slowly walked to the door. He did that just to tick us off sometimes, and to mock my human years.

We had called these vampires in. Peter and Charlotte had said they had a special talent, more of a profession we could use. See, after the Volturi attack, Edward and I have been a little jumpy. When they came to town, they were amazed, and gave us a phone number. Carlisle and Esme had scheduled the whole thing.

Alice had opened the door and just as she foresaw, two vampires were standing. One was in front; he was medium height; about as tall as Edward, had brown and beige hair, red eyes, and a big, professional smile on his face. He was about the age of Carlisle. The other was a woman who looked around 22; she had long straight blonde hair, red eyes, and another big smile. Carlisle pushed through Alice who was like a walking time bomb waiting to explode.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle. I'm the leader of this clan, and also the one that called you." He stuck his hand out and the male shook it. "Hello. We are very happy about the call. It will take ten minutes to set up. Also, we got your email. We promise we won't hunt in this area during our stay." The girl nodded in agreement. Edward frowned. I opened my shield _What is it?_ "They aren't thinking of what they're here for." Carlisle smiled and looked at the guest.

The woman stood up "Hello, we are your chiropractors. Which one of you are Bella and Edward" Wow, they bought us a massage, that's so nice. All I could do was smile, and slowly raise my hand to indicate I was Bella. I looked at Edward, who had still not raised his hand. Edward looked at me, and I nodded. He must have never got a massage before. Even vampires get nervous.

So, about half an hour later Wanda was massaging Edward. I was enjoying it because he was mostly naked and we had got undressed together. I was also half naked only covered by towel getting my massage from Ian **(A/N I got the names from The Host, for all you soul's out there.)** We didn't mind being touched by the opposite sex, they were professionals: Trained just like Carlisle is.

I don't know if he was enjoying his, but I was really enjoying mine. These vampires were amazing: they got every special little spot, they could actually apply pressure; unlike regular doctors, and I just drifted away; losing my vampires senses temporarily.

An hour later, a voice awoke me. Alright, I wasn't asleep, but I was so relaxed I could have been. Anyway, like I said, the voice woke me. "Alright Bella, it's time to wake up." He was obviously joking. I pushed on my arms, moving myself up… until I remembered I was naked. I looked up to see Ian turned around, but where was Edward. I looked around again, and sniffed. He probably just left to use the washroom. I could smell the vampire pee.

This time when I looked around I saw Ian was gone, and Wanda was in his place. "He left, I'm sorry. He is very respectful of his clients' privacy though." I appreciated that. "That's okay. Have you seen my husband though?" She bit her lip. I automatically got worried. "He's hurt, isn't he?" She shook her head. "Alright, usually I don't give out personnel client information, but you are his wife. So, listen up." I was a little freaked out; I didn't know what she had to say about my husband Edward. Had his male instincts got to him and he was too ashamed to see me now? Had something gone wrong and he was temporarily hurt? Before I could continue she just told me. "While I was massaging I discovered a little spot on your husband." She giggled like a gossiping old lady. "Now, be careful because I found out if you press it he will pee." That's it, Edward had peed himself. I started laughing, and she joined in to. I was right; we were like to old gossiping ladies.

She stood up and called Ian in. Of course she didn't say anything else about it, which would be unprofessional. He came in and stood. She put her fingers into a hidden curve in his flat muscles. "Press this; he really seemed to enjoy that." She winked at me and I knew she meant that was where to press. I placed my hand and she nodded. After they packed up Edward came back.

"Sorry I left honey, I had to use the little vampire's room, and then Carlisle needed me." I knew he was lying, not only because Wanda had told me, but because Carlisle paid for this and wouldn't remove Edward. They nodded, and I gave Wanda an extra hundred dollars. I told Ian it was a tip, but she knew it was for the tip about Edward. We hugged and Edward tilted his head when he left. "We had a girl talk once you left. We have a lot in common." He smiled at my reply, and I don't think he suspected a thing.

After thanking Carlisle and Esme for our surprise, we brought Renesmee home and put her to bed. She was about two years with a four year-olds body. During our fun that night I debated whether to press the spot, but I decided not to for two reasons. First, he had peed it all earlier, if I wait until he hunts there will be more pee. The other was to wait until his family was there. I could only do it once and keep his original expression.

Three weeks later it was Christmas. Alice had foreseen me doing it on this very day. She had also got in on the joke, being careful not to think about it. I had to make sure to do this during present time. So after we hunted, and weirdly found a lot of turkeys: Enough for us to each have one. We all tried to light the last lent candle, like they had in this Christmas music we watched. Carlisle was about to light it, but when he lit the match he freaked and burnt his pinky. We decided to NEVER do that again. Then we opened presents.

Everyone had spoiled Renesmee, even against my regards. Rosalie and Alice both got her tons of clothes and huge make up sets. Emmett got her rockband, thank Lord. Jasper had had her one of those Barbies that you design yourself. It had brown curly hair, pale-ish skin, and beautiful brown eyes. When I saw it it made me cry, well, dry tears. It was also from Esme; I should've known he couldn't have done it himself, it was still nice though. Carlisle got her her own laptop with tons of stories already updated onto it.

The couples had exchanged there presents and a few people had. Just then Alice gave Edward and winked at me. I knew this was the time. Right before he got it I pressed my two fingers right onto the spot. He stood up and it just all came out. He looked at me with an evil glare. All I could do was giggle. It took about half a second for the whole family excluding Carlisle; the kind one, to start laughing. After three seconds he had given the all evil glares and they all stopped. He turned around and said with his teeth closed "I am going to change." Alice pouted "Please Edward, open mines first. I might help."

She did a good job, she said she would convince him its clothes. He stood there debating, then turned and ripped it open. Emmett started snickering when he saw what it was. In Edward's hands was a pack of Huggies Ultra Big Boy diapers. "You should try them; I think it would be a good idea." I remembered this talk from years ago. He had told me all about it. He tore the package open and whipped one right at Emmett's face. He did a good job to because the sticky part hit him, and it was sticking to his face.

There was a HUGE diaper fight with diapers and by the end we were all wearing diapers as a hat. Alice wouldn't though, because it wasn't made by a well known designer.

We had all forgotten, but just then Jacob walked in from his nap. He was as embarrassed as we were. He had just walked into nine vampires with diapers on their heads, and one with wet pants. He starred for a minute then just picked one up and put it on his head. "Yay! This is the best gift ever. I don't have to hide it anymore. I'm a diaper hat wearer."

This is my l newest chapter for this yet. There's less pee because I wanted to include Christmas. There will only be a few more chapters. Probably 9 or 10 altogether. Pass the stories on to friends. PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	7. Long Train Ride

**Sorry I take so long to update, but now that I have a laptop I will update every few days until school is in again. I hope you all liked my special Christmas edition of "If vampires did pee". Keep reading, and I hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 7, The Train

Renesmee's POV

Jacob and I were going on a well deserved vacation. After a while I couldn't stand living with my parents and we moved to a city in Canada. I loved Canada. We were in a little city named Windsor. It was near really good locations like Point Pelee, Toronto, and Ottawa. There's a beautiful river named the Detroit River with statues all along and nice places to walk. It didn't really rain a lot here, but Jacob and I didn't shine in the sun, so we were happy. **(A/N Yes, I live in Windsor.)**

We had told our neighbors we were going on a vacation, because it would be too hard to explain my family. We were traveling to Forks, my birth town, by train. It was a long ride, about four hours until the next spot. I was holding onto my Jacob as hard as I could as we walked through the bus building. I was a little freaked out being around this many people. He knew that and comforted me.

We were tight by now. I knew about his imprinting, and I knew I loved him. It was just luck he loved me back. We hadn't done anything yet, although it might have came up in conversations. Dad said we couldn't until we were married. We weren't ready for marriage, so I listened to my father.

After Jacob packing snacks, we got on the train. We were first class so we had our own little room. Normally, we would fly, but we wanted o do this. It gave us more peaceful time together. In our room there was a long, red bench on each side, Jacob's backpack and a little trashcan in the corner.

We were happy when the train started. About after half an hour I was in Jacob's arms reading when he whispered "Hey, baby, I have to go to the washroom." Uh oh, didn't he know there wasn't a washroom here. "Jacob, this train doesn't have a washroom. He tightened up from underneath me. "Can you hold it?" I looked up and he bit his lip, then shook his head. I could see in his face; he really had to go.

I got off him in case I was pushing on his bladder and looked around. The only option was the small garbage can. "Can you go in the trashcan?" He looked around, knowing that was the only way. "I guess so." I watched because we had seen each other naked tons of times before.

He stood there and unzipped his pants, then attempted to hold himself still on the moving train; Then we both footsteps. He stuck his head up listening and before he even peed a drop he zipped his pants up, sat back down, and pulled me into his lap. After the conductor took our tickets he attempted to make small talk.  
"So, are you guys from Windsor?"

I nodded, and Jacob followed my lead. He lifted an eyebrow, and then left. I heard him mumble once out "Friendly bunch of people". High on sarcasm.

I looked up and Jacob really had to pee now. Once again he unzipped his pants. This time he didn't keep himself steady though. It all rushed out at once. Pee went all over the floor, mostly in one corner because the train car was on a slant. I laughed and he glared.

When we got back to Forks Edward greeted Jacob with a new way. He handed that last diaper from years ago and patted Jacob's back. He whispered "You need it more than I do." Everyone broke out in laughter, even Jacob. That was until I heard two more laughs. A girl and another guy. They walked out and it was Leah and Sam, his pack. He blushed as red as a tomato.

**Review for a cyber cookie (copyright of lemondropdreams)  
I've decided that this will be the last chapter I write of "If vampires did pee". It is now up to you to keep the story alive. Since I have written all of my original ideas you can PM or tell me in a review your ideas. They can be real like experiences, fun ideas or just embarrassing magazine stories. Well, have fun.**

**I have also recently got a review asking if vampires "number 2".(poop) I've thought of that many times, I just didn't want it to screw up this story. Maybe in a few months since I will be working on my other fanfic "The Ultimate Shapeshifter" which is a new group of shapeshifters that move into Forks. They can destroy anything they want, including the Cullens, volturi and the wolves. What are they and what will the Cullens do? Read to find out.  
Speaking of her. Check out her story "Lillie Isabelle Cullen" where I wrote a chapter. Renesmee pees herself and the whole family is behind her.  
Thanks for my sister, who always gives me her opinion before I post, twilightfan733.  
I'm not posting the next chapter until I get 5 more reviews.**


	8. Rosalie Sitch

Okay, I know I said the story was done, but you guys love it so much I'll do one I promised and forgot about. A lot of people asked and begged, so I decided to do this. It is not one of the best, but I hope you like it all the same. This takes place after the time Rosalie was changed and she is trying to get Edward to love her even though he says no. The first half is Edward's view and then I will redo it in Rosalie's. So here you fans go….

The Rosalie Sitch-Edward's POV

Carlisle and I were having a very interesting argument on cloning. He agreed with it, but I thought it was wrong. "Reproductive cloning can provide genetically related children for people who cannot be helped by other fertility treatments. Like people who can't have children". I couldn't believe this guy. He was my father, but he was waaay off here. "The number of men and women who do not produce eggs or sperm at all is very small, and has been greatly reduced by modern assisted-reproduction techniques. If cloning could be perfected and used for this limited group, it would be all but impossible to prevent its use from spreading. Further, this argument appropriates the phrase "genetically related" to embrace a condition that has never before occurred in human history, one which abolishes the genetic variations that have always existed between parent and child." I thought I sounded quite smart at him. He stood and thought about it. "Sorry son, you're wrong this time."

"Reproductive cloning is inherently unsafe. At least 95% of mammalian cloning experiments have resulted in failures in the form of miscarriages, stillbirths, and life-threatening anomalies; some experts believe no clones are fully healthy. The technique could not be developed in humans without putting the physical safety of the clones and the women who bear them at grave risk." I thought I'd picked my best point until he said "Every medical technology carries with it a degree of risk. Cloning techniques will eventually be perfected in mammals and will then be suitable for human trials." I was about to respond when my face expression changed. After less than a second he said "Go, before you pee yourself in my chair."

I walked down the hall human pace because if I moved too much I'd pee myself. I just rushed into the bathroom without even looking. I already had my pants down and peeing when I heard a voice. "Ooh, I like my men big" I had just finished so I zipped my pants up as soon as possible. I then turned around to see Rosalie naked—duh—watching my every move. She was barely covered by the bubbles and there was a flowery aroma in the air. She got up and pinned me to the wall with her hands on my shoulders.

I kept my head up high as she brought her wet, naked body closer and closer to me. "Rosalie, I told you. I'm not interested." "You will be after this" She was right up against my closes now and was struggling to leave because she was stronger than me.

That's when I used all my might, pushing her over. Now, I was lying on top of her. "That's it, you know you want it" I rolled my eyes, stood up, and left. I got back to Carlisle and he said "What took so long? And why are you all wet?" I just shook my head and responded "Rosalie". He put the bridge of his nose in his fingers.

"I'll get her to stop bothering you" he said as he walked out. Why can't a vampire just pee in peace these days?

**Alright, like I said not one of my best, but it is out and there may not be another for a while. I only posted this for two reasons 1. I said I might bring it back 2. To get more visitors.  
I am also writing a screenplay (not Twilight) about a girl who is secretly a dragon and is trying to find families since her parents were killed. What happens when her new moms a fallen angel, her dad and brothers werewolves and her real brother a merperson. Also, vampires to come.  
Review to make me happy with ideas and suggestions even though I can't promise it will come out. I have one idea from a fan I may use after ne with Jane Volturi.  
REVIEW!!!!**


	9. AN

**A/N: Like I said to all you people who like this story.**

**This story's life is now up to you. **

**I am finished with this story, but if you'd like me to keep going SUBMIT IDEAS!!!**

**Submit ideas for chapters I this story and all ideas will be credited ad your stories will be advertised.**

**You may also give me a plot idea for another story that you would like to see in my style and that will be credited too.**

**I also have many one-shots and stories you may check out:**

**The Moment of Truth- Emmett and Rosalie play a game of "The Moment of Truth" and deep secrets are discovered about this interesting couple. Rated M for language. One-shot**

**Babysitting Emmett Style- Emmett babysits Bella for one day. Let's just say pranking and horrible things to her galore. First chapter is Bella's diary entry to that day and second is when Edward returns. Bella and Edward fluff in the second. Two-shot**

**Songfics- Numerous songs from all different genres with the words changed to be Twilight saga related. Something for everyone. Currently 18 songs.**

**There are many more, but these are just my few best reviewed.**

**Also, I have stories on SPP. For all you that don't know SPP is an improv game my friends made up. We all have characters and we make funny scenarios with them. I wrote the scenarios down for you to read. It is mostly like jokes and a comedy show.**

**I recommend you read them in order.**

**SPP Moments**

**SPP Moments 2**

**SPP Through The Ages**

**SPP Pet Edition**

**Character descriptions are included in the first.**

**Thank you all for reading and the sooner you give ideas the sooner I can add more.**

**One more thing, I'd like you to do one big review on my whole story. Use this chapter to do it. Tell me what your favourite part was and based on this story who was your favourite character. **

**Thank you for all your love and care for this story. I wish I could give awards to all of you (or at least cookies). This has been great for me and I hope it was great for you too. **

**One more regard, if you are out there someone left a review whether vampires "Number 2" or not and they weren't logged in so I couldn't review back. I am not covering that in this story, bt if you would like me to review or PM me ideas.**

**I'd like to thank Stephenie Meyer, since I never did credit the Goddess herself. She made the characters, not me. **

**I'd also like to thank my many fans that read this even though I said I'd be done three times now. Sometimes when I write I just go on and on and on as ideas come and I remember things.**

**So, last minute review and homework for you.**

**Review my whole story altogether; submit ideas for new chapters, stories, and Vampire Poop(if I do it); Read my other Twilight stories, and SPP; Spread the word; and give yourself a paton the back for supporting my story. Thank you.**


	10. TC Fanfic Awards

**Dear readers,**

**We have been nominated for a tcfanficaward. **

**Two of my stories have been nominated in the tcfanficawards.**

**Voting has already started and I'd appreciate it if you could vote everyday until August 3rd****.**

**Here are our nominations:**

**The Moment of Truth for Best OneShot**

**And Songfics for best Songfic**

**Go to www(dot)tcfanficawards(dot)webs(dot)com**

**VanessaWolfe303**


	11. Potty Training

For all of you that are interested I have a new story that I'm writing called "Diaper Duty's Done: Now For The Hard Part" It's them potty training Renesmee. Keep in mind in this one that vampires don't pee.


	12. Bella's First Potty

Well, someone requested this chapter of Bella when she first becomes a vampire and I couldn't request. It's the day after Bella and Edward hunted.

Bella's POV

I sat there with my brand new family: my husband Edward and my little baby Renesmee. She was so beautiful with her shining skin and light brown hair. I kissed her forehead and told her I love her. It was in a baby gaga voice, although she was probably smart enough to understand regular talk.

Edward lifted his arm and I cuddled into his chest. He looked down at his and my baby, than petted her little head.

Everything felt perfect in my life. I had everything I had ever wanted.

But suddenly, something just didn't feel right.

Sure, my life was still great, but I started to not really feel good. I knew vampires couldn't get sick, so this really struck me as odd. It was moving through my lower abdomen, mainly around my sexual areas. It felt like gas, but much, much heavier. I suddenly felt sloshy, like I was very full of liquid. It was a much different feeling then when I was filled with fresh animal blood.

I handed Renesmee over to Edward, making on odd grimacing look. I sat up a little bit, leaning on my arm on the couch rest, trying to find an easier position.

"Are you okay Bella?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I honestly replied.

"Tell me what's wrong?" he said worried like when I was still human.

"It feels odd," I said pointing to where the discomfort is.

"One minute. I'm going to go get Carlisle. The blood might have been poisoned or something," he said worried, getting up and running upstairs with Renesmee still in his hand.

Then I was alone. Rosalie and Alice were at the mall. Jasper was at an enactment of the civil war. Esme was in the garden. And Emmett was upstairs.

I looked around. The liquid seemed to be pushing down around my special entrance. Suddenly, red liquid flowed out of my pants and all over the couch.

I looked around, shocked and ashamed. Hadn't I heard about Edward doing this long, long ago? I didn't think it was this embarrassing, but wow! I was horrified at myself.

And then, to make it even better, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Edward.

"Carlisle said it's just the female version of having to pee. Come on Bella, let's go outside for this."

He reached the bottom and looked up at me. "Oh," he said.

By now, the liquid had turned into a solid red jelly substance.

"Don't worry Bella. I'll get you cleaned up."

I nodded and followed him up the stairs.

A/N what do you guys think? Its short, but you want more so badly. Should I do even more?


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